Irony...

On Dictionary.com under Irony it states as one of its definitions as the following:

an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.

I know that some of you have already heard this story but man, it is just to funny to not post. The story began, technically, about 11 months ago. It enfolded when one of my previous roommates moved out. She left a couple of things here. Now, some of you may assume that they were the general articles of clothing... socks, a t-shirt, what have you. No, no. Not the case here. It was a large piece of crap TV that gave you sea sickness when you tried to watch a game on it (which we tried to do for the 2007 Super Bowl... Not conducive to watching good looking men in tight pants.) and a dresser that didn't have drawers. Now I ask you, what the bloody bush happened to the drawers? She took THOSE but not the shell. 

So, from April to September, our apartment had this television sitting in our front room. Hey, it was great to use as a foot rest but it wasn't going with our countrified decor. Plus, we (roommates and I) continued to inflict pain on ourselves by keeping it around. So, me being the only one with the nerve to do something about it, finally called her. And texted her. I left messages. I put out smoke signals. I talked with a voodoo prophetess. Nothing was working. Nor was there any remedy to the occupied space. Finally I got fed up and threw it in the trash. The way I saw it, if she had wanted it and its sick condition she would have come and gotten it within 5 months. I, at least, texted and left a message regarding my decision. She knew.

Then I moved onto the dresser. Now, some of you may think that it was fine to keep it here for her until she had another place for it. No no. She left it in the downstairs hall right in front of Jessica's bedroom. Every morning at 6, Jess would open her door and confront the depressing empty face of the dresser. She would stub her toe going to the bathroom and then when she was done doing her business would stub her toe on her way out. EVERY MORNING. Eventually she lost all feeling in her toes. It was slightly annoying at first but she adjusted. It became a normal occurrence on her daily planning. Prayers... check. Teeth... check. Stub toe... Double check. Finally I got sick of her complaining and me having to maneuver around it to get to Jess' door to talk to her. I called. I texted. I sent the signs. I talked with the voodoo woman... asked about curses... nothing was motivating her (the room mate) to come and relieve us of this nuisance.

Finally... my prayers and efforts had been answered. She called back. Said she would come and get it. This was in November. She came. We attempted to get it in her hatch back. The door was stuck. We couldn't get it open. So, she told me to just leave it outside and she would come get it in a few days. So we did. We left it by our front door. Yes, we are real rednecks. Next it will be the toilet and car engine. After a couple of days, I couldn't take it anymore. I moved it to the side of the house by the trash can. It sat there... indefinitely. It weathered the elements and the neighborhood children. It rained, it snowed, it sunned, and it stayed. Throughout these months, I called. I texted. I did everything to get rid of it, including calling the FBI, CIA, the world government, and even an outer darkness telegram. NOTHING HAPPENED. My last message wasn't nice, it said "we are going to chop it up and throw it away if you don't come and get it".  No response. 

So, one day last week, Amy (other room mate) and I went out. We came back and still saw the dresser on the side of the house. I said something to the extent that I was sick of being patient. She concurred. I went inside. Got a text from Jessica. It said "I got an ax. I am coming home..." I said "What?" Her response... "I am getting "free therapy" on it." I said "yay."

I walked out to go to work. I regularly walk because it is a hop, skip, and jump away from my homestead. I looked by the trash. Then I texted Jess. I asked "So, where did you take the dresser?" .  Thinking that she took somewhere safer... somewhere. She wrote back "What do you mean... I haven't been home yet." I wrote, "It's gone." She replied "Oh, that's just rich. I finally buy an ax and she comes and gets the bloody thing."

I laughed. Hard. 

The lesson of this story is that perseverance, stubbornness and being annoying can eventually get you what you want... over a large amount of time. 

Yep, that is irony at its best.