Humble... Pie.

So my friend Janae does this cool thing on her blog. She states things what she is grateful for for that day on her blog. This really is an interesting idea, so I thought that I would copy her and do the same here. 

I have had a lot of stuff happen over the last 6 months. Some good, some bad. Let me enlighten you. For a while there I was in a really bad place, mentally and spiritually. I became bitter and angry at the slightest thing and have hurt a lot of people, including my family. I apologize. I was stuck in a bad place and things were toppling on top of each stress, that I felt that I was drowning. I couldn't figure out how to break free. I know that life tends to give you trials and about six months ago, it seemed a lifetime's worth was placed on my shoulders. Now, I am not giving myself an excuse but when life hands you lemons, sometimes you forget to make lemonade. That was the case for me. I decided to taste the bitterness and live with it. 

All growing up, I had heard that life is supposed to be fun in college. I haven't felt that way since I have started. This last year has been difficult, religiously, emotionally, socially and scholastically. As some of you know, when I started school I decided that I wanted to get straight A's. This isn't as easy as some think when you work 30+ hours and never sleep. Since fall all I have felt that this decision has done for me is give me wrinkles, migraines, grey hair, and an ulcer. 

I haven't met a great many people that I could feel a true kinship to. I don't have really a social life because of my schedules. Last fall, I decided to take courses everyday of the week and close every night. This wasn't easy because we didn't get home until after midnight and then I was wired for hours afterward. Life wasn't good. I became an insomniac and an angry, bitter woman. Every little thing (whether it was politics or roommates) added to the stress of school and lack of sleep. I took it out on my family/friends and felt that everyone was against me. I went on a downhill trail. 

This semester I organized my time better (I thought) but still had issues. I was and still am in debt, was stressed about classes and how I was going to be able to pay my bills. I sacrificed my time to making money and doing homework, that I forgot about the other needs that make me who I am. I need human contact/fun time. I need a religious input in my life. I need family support. I have that, but I wasn't being supportive to them. I need to be that to be me. I lost my loyalty to all of the above, and this screwed up my psyche.

I know that I am not one the most intelligent people or am as spiritual as I used to be. I need to be more involved in church. I need to call my family more. I need to be a better friend. 

Over the last 3 months things started to look up, gradually. I met new people that didn't make me compelled to swear, I got accepted to an awesome program that will help pay for college, and miracles of miracles, I got a call from my old employer in Jersey. She was hoping that I would be able to come out and help the family for about 2 months. 

These were all blessings that God decided to give me. I was seriously stressed about my debt and believed that I would have to get another job to pay off the debt that I had accumulated over the year. This would have been extremely hard because I would have worked 40 hours both places and still not pay it all. When she called, I realized that if I went out there, I would have 2/3 of the debt paid in only 2 months. This was amazing. 

I am truly watched out for even when I don't deserve it. My life is not perfect, nor will it ever be. I know that I have faults, one being that I am extremely sarcastic and when something bothers me... I let loose on people or things that aren't even relevant. This isn't the best attribute to have. I need to be more kind and loving towards those that deserve it. Especially my family. I hope to be better. 

As Janae puts it: 

Things I am grateful for today.

1.) Family... They love you regardless and forgive easily and expeditiously. They are also always there to put you straight and watch out for your best interests. I couldn't ask for better people to have in my corner than them.

2. My heaven-sent talent/ability to have good relationships with my old bosses... This speaks for itself. If I wasn't blessed with this ability I wouldn't be in the awesome situation I am in now. 

3. My life. I am grateful for the trials and struggles I go through because it make me humble and a better person. Therefore, I become a more loving, loyal and kinder friend, daughter, sister, and human being.

Most Gorgeous Place on the Planet...

So, every year since the beginning of time, my family would go to the beach on Spring Break. Well let me clarify. Us girls in the family would go because my dad and brother would meet up with my uncles and granddaddy and go to the Masters golf tournament in Georgia. I think my mom wanted us to do something special since the boys got to. Every year we would go to Oregon ( I don't know why she choose this particular spot, but everyone loves it) and enjoy a bit of frivolty. Shopping, dinner, movies (cheezy girl flicks) and dips in the freezer burn inducing water. If anyone knows what the Oregon Pacific feels like in the Spring, they know that it isn't warm...

Anyway, we have tried to continue this tradition over the years. This year I finally got to meet with the family in March and go. Normally over the last 7 years I haven't been able to because of where I resided and also because Spring Breaks never coincided. Now, everyone worked with my schedule, which was nice. We had a blast. Too bad not all of us girls got to go. Laura couldn't this year but hopefully next year she will. Here are some pics.

Here we are, the original girls excluding Laura. I like this picture. My legs don't look to bad. :)

Reagan (noodle), Eva (Bean), Katelynn (Katie Girl), Molly (Lollypop), and Jaker (Chuckaroo) having fun.

Beautiful and sweetest baby, Carson. 

Molly watching a movie with the family. She's is decided the photo needed a pose.

Reagan's funny face... She is my little noodle. What a crack up.

Chee Chee (Kristie) and her daughter Eva building a sandcastle. I am amazed by how she raises her children. She is such a wonderful, gorgeous mom. So patient. I hope to be like all my wonderful, beautiful sisters when I become a mom someday.

The cousins just LOVE eachother. Kids are such fun.

Ah, Jaker Breaker. He is seriously going to be a Heartbreaker someday. Makes me chuckle. 

I can't SEE! HELP!!! We were on the beach and she just couldn't get her hair out of her eyes. Eva is the best at making up insults. She doesn't even realize it yet but oh how she can make anyone smile. I still remember fondly how I was making lunch for Jake, Eva, Reagan and Molly. When I went to go deliver the food to the table they were eating at they all started saying things to me. Molly said that I was "so crazy", Reagan said that I was so nice, Jake said that I was beautiful, and then Eva decided to be creative and said that I was a hairy head. That made me laugh. It was so funny.  One of my favorite beach stories. 

It was really cold. Reagan is such a stinker. I love her. 

Look how beautiful it is!! I want to go back.

I wish that had more photos with just Katelynn.

Anyway, the beach was a blast. Can't wait till next time. I just wish Laura could have been here. It would have been even better. Maybe next year.

Countdown...

Okay. I am losing it. There is this stupid red jeep that sits out front of my apartment at all wee hours of the night. I am not a happy camper. I guess there is a guy that is dating someone next door and he brings her back home at 1,2,3 am. That is not all. He sits there and talks to her for 2 hours every other night. Now, she may have class later in the day, when most normal people would be having lunch, but I don't. All I hear, as I am trying to lay my pitiful head, is rum rum gruuummmm. Over and over again. I starting to lose it. Now, I have thought of leaving a threatening letter on the girl's door... something about towing and police or I could go out there next time and reasonably talk to them. Knock on the door while they chat or makeout. I don't care. I won't be embarrassed to see them scramble to decency. It won't be the first time or last. I just want sleep. I don't get much as it is but I want at least 4 hours. 

I am thinking about making a chain... For the end of the semester. Hopefully she is one of those that will have the desire to move. Maybe I will give her reason to want to move... Hmm. That's an idea. 

All I know is that something MUST be done.

Irony...

On Dictionary.com under Irony it states as one of its definitions as the following:

an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.

I know that some of you have already heard this story but man, it is just to funny to not post. The story began, technically, about 11 months ago. It enfolded when one of my previous roommates moved out. She left a couple of things here. Now, some of you may assume that they were the general articles of clothing... socks, a t-shirt, what have you. No, no. Not the case here. It was a large piece of crap TV that gave you sea sickness when you tried to watch a game on it (which we tried to do for the 2007 Super Bowl... Not conducive to watching good looking men in tight pants.) and a dresser that didn't have drawers. Now I ask you, what the bloody bush happened to the drawers? She took THOSE but not the shell. 

So, from April to September, our apartment had this television sitting in our front room. Hey, it was great to use as a foot rest but it wasn't going with our countrified decor. Plus, we (roommates and I) continued to inflict pain on ourselves by keeping it around. So, me being the only one with the nerve to do something about it, finally called her. And texted her. I left messages. I put out smoke signals. I talked with a voodoo prophetess. Nothing was working. Nor was there any remedy to the occupied space. Finally I got fed up and threw it in the trash. The way I saw it, if she had wanted it and its sick condition she would have come and gotten it within 5 months. I, at least, texted and left a message regarding my decision. She knew.

Then I moved onto the dresser. Now, some of you may think that it was fine to keep it here for her until she had another place for it. No no. She left it in the downstairs hall right in front of Jessica's bedroom. Every morning at 6, Jess would open her door and confront the depressing empty face of the dresser. She would stub her toe going to the bathroom and then when she was done doing her business would stub her toe on her way out. EVERY MORNING. Eventually she lost all feeling in her toes. It was slightly annoying at first but she adjusted. It became a normal occurrence on her daily planning. Prayers... check. Teeth... check. Stub toe... Double check. Finally I got sick of her complaining and me having to maneuver around it to get to Jess' door to talk to her. I called. I texted. I sent the signs. I talked with the voodoo woman... asked about curses... nothing was motivating her (the room mate) to come and relieve us of this nuisance.

Finally... my prayers and efforts had been answered. She called back. Said she would come and get it. This was in November. She came. We attempted to get it in her hatch back. The door was stuck. We couldn't get it open. So, she told me to just leave it outside and she would come get it in a few days. So we did. We left it by our front door. Yes, we are real rednecks. Next it will be the toilet and car engine. After a couple of days, I couldn't take it anymore. I moved it to the side of the house by the trash can. It sat there... indefinitely. It weathered the elements and the neighborhood children. It rained, it snowed, it sunned, and it stayed. Throughout these months, I called. I texted. I did everything to get rid of it, including calling the FBI, CIA, the world government, and even an outer darkness telegram. NOTHING HAPPENED. My last message wasn't nice, it said "we are going to chop it up and throw it away if you don't come and get it".  No response. 

So, one day last week, Amy (other room mate) and I went out. We came back and still saw the dresser on the side of the house. I said something to the extent that I was sick of being patient. She concurred. I went inside. Got a text from Jessica. It said "I got an ax. I am coming home..." I said "What?" Her response... "I am getting "free therapy" on it." I said "yay."

I walked out to go to work. I regularly walk because it is a hop, skip, and jump away from my homestead. I looked by the trash. Then I texted Jess. I asked "So, where did you take the dresser?" .  Thinking that she took somewhere safer... somewhere. She wrote back "What do you mean... I haven't been home yet." I wrote, "It's gone." She replied "Oh, that's just rich. I finally buy an ax and she comes and gets the bloody thing."

I laughed. Hard. 

The lesson of this story is that perseverance, stubbornness and being annoying can eventually get you what you want... over a large amount of time. 

Yep, that is irony at its best. 

Distracted

So my poor roommate Jessica has been trying to get my attention all day. I feel so bad because I am listening but not responding to anything she is saying. I guess what I have been doing is vaguely listening to some of what she is saying but at the same time thinking of things that I need to do. This isn't conducive to a good friendship. So eventually she lost patience and said that she is starting to believe that it is better to actually talk to the wall instead of me... which, as of today, is probably true. So as I was sitting there after her ragging on me for the up-teenth time, I started to wonder about my listening skills regarding other friends. It was not a pretty epiphany.I realized that I am a selfish friend and don't listen. I interrupt consistently. Anyway, so this is to say sorry to all those that have experienced me and my brain farts. Sorry.