Humble... Pie.

So my friend Janae does this cool thing on her blog. She states things what she is grateful for for that day on her blog. This really is an interesting idea, so I thought that I would copy her and do the same here. 

I have had a lot of stuff happen over the last 6 months. Some good, some bad. Let me enlighten you. For a while there I was in a really bad place, mentally and spiritually. I became bitter and angry at the slightest thing and have hurt a lot of people, including my family. I apologize. I was stuck in a bad place and things were toppling on top of each stress, that I felt that I was drowning. I couldn't figure out how to break free. I know that life tends to give you trials and about six months ago, it seemed a lifetime's worth was placed on my shoulders. Now, I am not giving myself an excuse but when life hands you lemons, sometimes you forget to make lemonade. That was the case for me. I decided to taste the bitterness and live with it. 

All growing up, I had heard that life is supposed to be fun in college. I haven't felt that way since I have started. This last year has been difficult, religiously, emotionally, socially and scholastically. As some of you know, when I started school I decided that I wanted to get straight A's. This isn't as easy as some think when you work 30+ hours and never sleep. Since fall all I have felt that this decision has done for me is give me wrinkles, migraines, grey hair, and an ulcer. 

I haven't met a great many people that I could feel a true kinship to. I don't have really a social life because of my schedules. Last fall, I decided to take courses everyday of the week and close every night. This wasn't easy because we didn't get home until after midnight and then I was wired for hours afterward. Life wasn't good. I became an insomniac and an angry, bitter woman. Every little thing (whether it was politics or roommates) added to the stress of school and lack of sleep. I took it out on my family/friends and felt that everyone was against me. I went on a downhill trail. 

This semester I organized my time better (I thought) but still had issues. I was and still am in debt, was stressed about classes and how I was going to be able to pay my bills. I sacrificed my time to making money and doing homework, that I forgot about the other needs that make me who I am. I need human contact/fun time. I need a religious input in my life. I need family support. I have that, but I wasn't being supportive to them. I need to be that to be me. I lost my loyalty to all of the above, and this screwed up my psyche.

I know that I am not one the most intelligent people or am as spiritual as I used to be. I need to be more involved in church. I need to call my family more. I need to be a better friend. 

Over the last 3 months things started to look up, gradually. I met new people that didn't make me compelled to swear, I got accepted to an awesome program that will help pay for college, and miracles of miracles, I got a call from my old employer in Jersey. She was hoping that I would be able to come out and help the family for about 2 months. 

These were all blessings that God decided to give me. I was seriously stressed about my debt and believed that I would have to get another job to pay off the debt that I had accumulated over the year. This would have been extremely hard because I would have worked 40 hours both places and still not pay it all. When she called, I realized that if I went out there, I would have 2/3 of the debt paid in only 2 months. This was amazing. 

I am truly watched out for even when I don't deserve it. My life is not perfect, nor will it ever be. I know that I have faults, one being that I am extremely sarcastic and when something bothers me... I let loose on people or things that aren't even relevant. This isn't the best attribute to have. I need to be more kind and loving towards those that deserve it. Especially my family. I hope to be better. 

As Janae puts it: 

Things I am grateful for today.

1.) Family... They love you regardless and forgive easily and expeditiously. They are also always there to put you straight and watch out for your best interests. I couldn't ask for better people to have in my corner than them.

2. My heaven-sent talent/ability to have good relationships with my old bosses... This speaks for itself. If I wasn't blessed with this ability I wouldn't be in the awesome situation I am in now. 

3. My life. I am grateful for the trials and struggles I go through because it make me humble and a better person. Therefore, I become a more loving, loyal and kinder friend, daughter, sister, and human being.